Silence is golden
by Jace Draccus
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"Hey, that's mine!"
"No it's not, it's mine!"
"I saw it first!"
"But I grabbed it first!"
"But I want it!"
"Me too!"
Officer Jenny, barely a few feet away from the argument, groaned silently. Just once, she'd like to be able to take this break from her rounds without having to endure this. But it was almost always exactly the same, every time she was on this shift. And the other Jennies confirmed that this always happened. It was impossible for anyone to take their break, enjoy a cup of coffee from the snack cart, and just relax for a few minutes. Not with those two bickering nearby. And they always found something to bicker about, too. The only time she got any relief was when the roster changed. But then another poor Jenny would be subjected to this torture, and of course all the others would soon hear all about it...
"Pleeeeease? Look, there's more puddings on the cart!"
"But they're all lemon. This one's chocolate."
"But chocolate is my absolute, absolute fave.... Pleeease can I have it?"
"It's my absolute, absolute fave too!"
The Jennies weren't the only ones affected. Any other staff member in range were treated to almost precisely the same performance. Jenny, Joy, even Delmo. White, Pink, Black, Blue, Gold, even the new Purples... It didn't matter who was around. It happened regardless. Every day. Like clockwork. After a while, it got to the point that the unfortunate observer didn't even have to watch. They could close their eyes and replay it in their mind. One, red-haired and with delicately elfin features, squabbling with another, purple-haired and mischievous, over something from the snack cart. In this case, a chocolate pudding. And soon it would dissolve into some sort of physical fight...
"Give it!"
"No!"
"C'mon, I thought we were friends!"
"That does not apply to pudding. Besides, if you're really my friend, you'll let me have this one."
"You had the last one yesterday! It's my turn!"
"Oooh, you liar!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
And then there were poor Asuka and Melphina. They had to sit, or rather stand, through the same thing repeatedly, over and over and over... Melphina accepted it quietly, as was her wont, though it did seem to make her increasingly nervous. As for Asuka, it was probably a good thing she hadn't been allowed to have her gag removed yet. At lest, judging from the loud, but thankfully muffled, complaints she was making, and the stormy glares she game the arguing pair. Not that either one noticed.
But it was obviously not helping in the treatment of either patient.
"Haha! I got it, I got it!"
"Give it back!"
"No! It's mine now! Nyah!"
"But you stole it!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not did not did not!"
"Did too did too did too!"
And the worst part was that nothing could be done about it. If they were yelled at, they'd sniffle and cry and do their best to look so incredibly pitiful and cute that the one yelling would end up feeling guilty instead of annoyed. Not that either of the pair did that on purpose, of course. It just came naturally to them both. And complaining to administration was no good either. That had been tried once, and while it had prompted Mr. Chainsman to have a few words with Mr. Tanaka and Dr. Sebastian, who in turn had a few words with their respective assistants, the respite this brought was only temporary. In a few days, the pair of them would be at it all over again, as if nothing had happened.
Behind Jenny, the argument had finally devolved into flurry of hair-pulling, clothes-tugging, pinching, tickling and squealing.
Idly, she fingered the Tape Boy at her side. She could probably get away with it as a prank, and even if she couldn't, it'd be worth it to get a little peace for once...
The next day, as usual, the food cart trundled down the corridor, pushed by Asuka and Melphina in their fetching pink Beta Latex outfits. Asuka was bearing the duty with her typical bad grace, but Melphina, of course, simply accepted it.
Jenny smiled at them as she chose a sandwich and a cup of coffee from the cart. "Hello, you two."
"Hello Officer Jenny," Melphina murmured with a small smile. Asuka mmmphed something that was probably not very complimentary, and looked away.
"How are you today?" Jenny asked Melphina. By now, she was too used to Asuka to be offended. "Still handling the rounds alright?"
"Oh... yes, thank you." Melphina nodded, looking a little flustered. To cover, she looked around curiously, peering down the hall. "Um... have the lights gone out along here? It seems a little dark..."
Jenny nodded. "I think there's a blown circuit somewhere. Something like that... the Pinks are looking into it."
"Ah... uh, are the other two busy today? I usually see them here..."
"I haven't seen them today," Jenny replied innocently. "But I'm sure they're hanging around somewhere."
"Oh... alright." Melphina flashed that small smile again. "Maybe we'll see them somewhere else. Talk to you later, Officer Jenny." She motioned to the sulking Asuka, and the pair began to pull the cart down the corridor once more.
Jenny waited until they had disappeared around a corner, then grinned. "Maybe..." Her gaze lifted to the ceiling. "Maybe not."
Above her, mostly hidden by the gloom, two tightly wrapped forms were taped to the ceiling. Red curls peeked from the wrappings of one, while the other showed a few wisps of purple hair here and there. Side by side, heads turned towards each other, they could barely move, barely even whimper. Both wriggled occasionally, but the tight bindings didn't allow much for mobility.
The hardest part had been getting up there. The ambush itself had been easy, thanks to the aid of a few volunteers among the Jennies and the Delmos (including some Pinks that had rigged the lights to go out, since the ceiling wasn't high enough to hide the pair all that well). All they had to do was catch each of the girls at an unguarded moment, when no one else was around. And, thankfully, the whole thing went off without a hitch. It seemed that this had been one of the few things that both sides, Jenny and Delmo, could agree on. So, between them, they managed to get both Melanie and Erica secured and strapped to the ceiling.
And, as an added precaution, they took Melanie's ID card, with its inbuilt protection from the wards and spells infusing the Institute, just to make sure she didn't shrink down to faerie form and escape. They did leave her a visitor card, so that the spyders would have no reason to investigate and interfere. Unfortunately for Melanie, such cards did nothing to protect her magic.
And, as an added touch, suspended between them, where both could see it, was a chocolate pudding, just like the one they had fought so bitterly over the day before. Just out of reach...though they strained towards it, and made muffled complaints when they couldn't get to it...So close, but so far...
Oh sure, they'd be found eventually, by someone who hadn't been involved in their capture. And if that didn't happen, well, one of the conspirators would pretend to find them... although perhaps there'd be some entertainment in letting the others on the staff know about it first. Maybe not any of the heads, of course, but the rest of the Delmos and Jennies, and the Joys... well, it was a thought, anyway.
Of course, once the two were 'found' and released, things would quickly return to the way they had been, with the fighting and arguing, and always over something trivial. But at least Jenny would have a pleasant memory or two for the next time they annoyed her.
She stretched, smiling widely up at the bound and struggling figures, then started walking down the corridor, intent on getting back to her rounds. Her break was over, but she didn't really mind. An immense sense of satisfaction welled up in her, so much so that she very nearly whistled...
But she didn't. She didn't want to disturb the beautiful, beautiful silence.